Every One Should Use The Potato Scale

What Is your favorite movie? It’s a hard question isn’t it? When I’m asked this question a flood of memories swirl into my brain. I instantly remember the excitement of most recent movie I had watched, but it’s instantly followed with a guilty feeling when I remember my childhood favorites.

Maybe I should ask an easier question first; what is your favorite food? While for some people this may be an equally as difficult question for me the answer is clear. My favorite food is the potato. “What kind of potato?” I hear you asking, and to that question I respond: “Exactly my point.”

The potato can be prepared in many different forms. The raw spud has unlimited potential once it enters the kitchen, ranging between but not limited to a wide scale of dishes and snacks. Potatoes are served at every meal due to their unique ability to transform from a breakfast side to a dinner entrée not including the many snack forms it can take.

Have you chosen your favorite movie yet? Don’t worry you still have time to decide.

Movie also take many forms, or as you know them, genres. Romance movies, horror movies, adventure movies, and noire films are all different forms a movie can take. Similarly, each movie genre can serve many different purposes. Some movies are used as background noise for homework or chores, others are entertainment or distractions used to unwind at night. Even Saturday morning cartoons serve a very different purpose from your Friday night horror film.

So how do you choose? If movies can be so vastly different is choosing a favorite even relevant anymore? In a world where “what movie are we watching tonight?” is as flexible and common of a question as “where do you want to go for dinner?” why do we have choose a favorite?

I present to you; the solution to all of your movie watching indecision. I call it: The Potato Scale. What is The Potato Scale? I’m so glad you asked! I wish I could take credit for creating The Potato Scale, but the due credit goes to a movie reviewer, podcaster and youtuber Coy Jandreau. Coy Jandreau got tired of being asked the question “what’s your favorite movie?” and decided to create a hilarious analogy that clearly and concisely described his unique experiences while watching many different kinds of movies.

The Potato Scale is all inclusive, any movie and any food with even one percent of spud in the recipe can be included on The Potato Scale. Here’s how it works: The Potato Scale can observably be broken down into two categories.

The first is preparation. Take a raw spud for example. The raw potato takes no preparation and demands no effort (and yes, the raw potato is still edible). It also has immense potential; the raw potato can be anything if you put enough effort into it. On The Potato Scale I would compare it to a movie with minimal effort included in the production, it has bland characters, and I would venture to say some rookie editing or acting mistakes that might’ve been left in the final cut would qualify a movie for this ranking on The Potato Scale.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, a more careful preparation also has symbolism towards movies on The Potato Scale. For example: mashed potatoes and gravy. It takes quite a bit more effort to make mashed potatoes, you have to boil them, mash them, add butter and cream, season them and not to mention making the gravy which if you’re making it from scratch takes a whole other recipe’s worth of work. On The Potato Scale this would be a movie with many layers and messages in the story and lots of attention to detail provided in the production. I would select a movie with a good set, talented actors, a clear plot with relatable characters and maybe with a surprising plot twist or exciting details to signify the gravy.

The second category is your (the audience’s) experience. This entirely depends on what the audience’s experience was while watching the movie. This may include what time people typically watch the movie or what mood the movie goers are typically in when selecting their movie. Similar to Hash browns which are a clear breakfast food (I would relate hash browns to Saturday morning cartoons) I would also use potato chips as a snack food for an example of an episode of a tv show.

This category plays more into the audience’s preferences. Do you watch your horror movie during the day or at night? This is all completely left to you as a movie watcher. Different movie genres compare to different kinds of potatoes, and different people see different movie genres in their own unique perspective. This is the beauty of The Potato Scale: it is a movie grading system entirely left the audiences discretion. The same person who despises paranormal movies might adore action-adventure movies at the same time. The same principle applies to potatoes too. Someone who avoids tater tots might immediately turn around and order the large size of fries from McDonald’s.

The Potato Scale will revolutionize the movie review media. Audiences no longer need to choose their favorite movie. We don’t have to force pieces of art onto an unnatural scale of one to ten. Every movie is art, and every opinion is valid. Everything fits on the Potato Scale, leaving us the audience to feel completely free to explore all mediums of content with new and all-inclusive eyes. This is why I believe, Everyone should use the Potato Scale.

Thanks so much for making it to the end of my recent potato obsession! you can also check out the audio version here! https://youtu.be/hSQ1771puSk